It’s no coincidence that my therapy practice, Grow, is often described as “warm,” “comfortable,” and “not like a therapy practice.” This is the exact feeling I set out to cultivate when I imagined opening up a private practice for mental health in 2012. A space that felt like someone’s private living room, where they could sit with a cup of coffee or tea and feel comfortable opening up.

Many couples struggle with sex in some way at some point in their marriage. Sometimes, these issues can creep up out of seemingly nowhere and leave the same way as well. Other times, and more likely, sex becomes something we avoid, dread, or otherwise become numb to over a period of time. It can feel much more like just another duty versus an actual desire or want that you have, only existing to satisfy your partner.

Towns have been both damaged and brought together and people who’ve lost their voices or have been silenced are now being heard as opinions start forming and platforms are lifted. There is much to talk about and much to be said and yet for many white people right now, there’s deep confusion, feelings of displacement and a new shame we’ve not felt before.

The other day, I decided to hop onto Brené Brown’s new podcast, “Unlocking Us.” I’ve studied her work for quite some time since become a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator in 2015 under her organization, The Daring Way™. Many of my clients have talked about listening to her podcast and finding it helpful during quarantine. Anything that brings comfort, peace, humor, bits of joy, I’m all for right about now.

To me, Mother’s Day is a celebration of any woman, anywhere who cares or has cared for a single soul. Whether it be hers or someone else’s, it’s a day important enough to stand out. Yet inevitably, any time I talk to other women about Mother’s Day, come the stories of husbands everywhere who either don’t believe in celebrating this day for or with their wives or just don’t put in the effort.

We’re home, we’re stuck and “shelter in place” has gone from the stage of disbelief and enchantment to the now anger and sadness of loss, disruption and frustration. So similar to the ways and stages of grief that’ve been so articulately described in so many other online articles. Things feel difficult, sluggish, messy and people are getting on one another’s last damn nerve at this point.

“The ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.” - Erich Fromm. This quote struck my attention as I was scrolling well beyond my bedtime the other night. I’m assuming it was meant to be a message to us all from @arianahuffington as a bit of a beacon of light, helping us find our way through this unknowing time. “Yes!” I thought as I read it. “That’s it!” But I wasn’t thinking about the stay at home order or sheltering in place.

Judgement. It’s everywhere and in every realm and phase of life. We worry about it or we do it (one of the two) even when we don’t mean to. Sometimes out of a bad habit that’s been around awhile, and sometimes on purpose. And whether you’ve worked on it or not, have a reason for it (that you’ve convinced yourself of) or don’t, it’s there.

There’s really no way around emotion. We all have it, just as we all have thoughts and behaviors. Some of us are wired to think more logically, from our heads and some of us more emotionally, from our hearts. While logic and emotion often end up in conversation with one another, either one of these things can stand on their own. Yet emotion is often questioned, doubted or put aside for fear of logic proving itself to be right.

No amount of compliments, affirmations or reassurances can rescue a person from their own self-destructive story. We’re programmed by our experiences and our biology combined and wired so deeply that while flooding someone with positivity may feel like the right thing to do as a quick pick-me-up, it’s like being thirsty and taking a shower instead of drinking a glass of water.

Now’s the time to take what you know of your life and of your family, and start taking charge in making it work for you. At the same time, it’s also a time where there’s a lot we don’t know. So use what you’ve got and what you want to layout your vision of home. But most importantly, be flexible and remind yourself that these are unprecedented times in our lives.

We all know the words, “I’m sorry.” Anyone can say them and we’re taught to say them from an early age when it comes to making right someone we’ve wronged. Yet why is it that these words do not always heal our pain? Why is that sometimes when someone apologizes it ends up actually pissing us off more?

How often have you heard, or even said, “you really need to take care of yourself,” without knowing what that truly means? When we think of self care, most of the time we think of things like massages and manicures, spending time on a beach reading a book or even having a few hours to ourselves. But let’s face it, there are so many things that get in the way.